Bienvenido a Miami

Yesterday we woke up, ate breakfast and went straight to South Beach. Although in that brief sentence it sounded like this was a swift process, that was not the case. We were slightly slowed down after the previous night. When we got to South Beach it was raining, so we did what we do in every city when we need to kill time: found a brewery. Microbreweries are not especially easy to come across in Miami, but with the help of one of our hosts, Whitney Roux, we were able to track down the Abbey Brewing Co. Although they are more of a brewpub than a brewery, they make their own beer so it was going to have to suffice. We each had a pint of their IPA, and rated it as meeeaaahh (that's a technical term for so-so).



By the time we were done with our beer, the rain had subsided and it was a beautiful beach day. We got there, set up our towels and spent the next few hours swimming and relaxing in the sun. For dinner we went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries, which was fantastic. The best part about it is that all condiments are free on burgers there, including sauteed mushrooms. Also they have free peanuts.
From there we went straight to the Standard Hotel, where Sunday Night Erotic Bingo takes place, which was a blast. The Bingo announcer has many clever ways of calling out the numbers that were picked, here are a couple of the less risque examples:
B-13: In order to date Micheal Jackson, you have to B-13
N-54: N-Filthy Whore
During the game there is a server handing our free shots constantly. I won the first game, and got two free drinks. Being the crafty guy that I am, I got double whiskey gingers for myself and Biff, essentially doubling the free alcohol. A few rounds later, Whitney got bingo, but she had tied with someone else. If there is a tie in Erotic Bingo, the decision maker is a dance-off, obviously. Because we had come straight from the beach and were all wearing swimsuits, and Whitney was ecstatic to have won bingo for her first time ever, she took off her shirt in the dance-off (only revealing her swimsuit, but still).



Aside from the stripping aspect, she busted out some incredible moves, and the crowd did not hesitate to crown her victor. Her prize was 2 day passes to the hotel's spa, an hour long massage and a $25 bar tab at the bar next door, called Purdy's. So we went to Purdy's, which has board games, a live DJ and a drink special called Happy Meals (A shot of Jager and a beer for $6). We played Jenga and Candyland, drank some happy meals, had a stranger buy us more happy meals and took a picture of a girl dressed like Britney Spears caressing a blowup doll. Then we went home and went to bed. Today we go to New York City. We have tickets to The Colbert Report tomorrow, but no plans besides that. Many thanks to Amanda Rouse and Whitney Roux for hosting us in Miami.

Best Beer in Miami: Dos Equis?

Total Flying Time: 25 Hours 45 Minutes

For all photos, click here!


We have recieved over $300 in donations to our paypal account, many thanks to all who have decided to give their hard earned money to two kids on a hellbent mission to conquer the US in 30 days! Also, our new offer is this: If you donate more than $20, we will do anything that you want us to do in any city, and take a picture of it for you (within reason). More updates and photos to come!